When Functional Freeze Is Your Only Form of Self-Care

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When Functional Freeze Is Your Only Form of Self-Care

POV: You’re going through the motions and checking things off your to-do list, but mentally, you’re paralyzed. You spend your limited free time “resting” by bed-rotting and scrolling. If this sounds familiar, you might be dealing with a functional freeze. It’s not a clinical term or diagnosis, but it’s what happens when stress piles up and sends you into a “freeze response” that’s hard to come out of, says Angela Neal-Barnett, PhD, a psychologist and professor at Kent State University.

It may feel like you’re taking care of yourself, but freezing isn’t self-care — and staying in this state long-term can hurt your health.

I thought I was just being lazy.

Is it lazy to be so stressed that you have nothing left to give yourself? Functional freeze is a result of trauma or stress — whether it’s one big stressor or many little ones — that forces you to dissociate and go on autopilot. It’s like a survival tactic: “Our brain is protecting us,” says Neal-Barnett.

It can happen to people who juggle multiple responsibilities daily (see: women everywhere). Moms, caregivers, or anyone doing significant emotional labor may be particularly at risk, says Neal-Barnett.

But I can handle it. 

It probably seems that way. Functional freeze is what Neal-Barnett calls a “maladaptive coping mechanism.” Untreated chronic stress can put you at greater risk of digestive issues, high blood pressure, and heart disease (the number one cause of death in women, FYI), to name a few. There may also be “low levels of depression and anxiety” underneath a functional freeze, she says. So even if you can technically handle it, living in this state isn’t sustainable.

Your move

Thank your brain for doing its best. But you deserve real self-care. Try these strategies for reconnecting with the present and addressing your mental health: 

• Treat yourself to some true self-care by doing breathwork, relaxing, and just enjoying something that connects you with other people.

• Connect with your senses. Neal-Barnett recommends the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to ground yourself.

• Take something (or things) off your plate by reprioritizing or saying “no” from the get-go. Easier said than done, we know. 

• Ask for help. Turning to your partner or family member for support will remove some stress — and ultimately help you feel more like yourself. 

• See a professional. Treat your mental health like your physical health. If something hurts, it’s time to seek an expert.

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How do I know if my hair loss is normal or something worse?

FEATURED EXPERT:

Jennifer Holman, MD

Board-certified dermatologist based in Texas

Holman says it’s normal to lose about 100 hairs a day, so a certain amount of hair in the shower or on your brush is considered normal.

But you should call a dermatologist if:

• Your scalp is scaling, or itchy, or you notice redness around the follicles

• You notice hair loss in circular, shiny bald patches 

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