When a friend is going through a difficult time, there’s a lot of pressure to say the “right” thing. The last thing you want to do is offer a tired platitude or make things worse. Which is why people often don’t say anything at all — leaving their friend feeling abandoned, says grief therapist Gina Moffa, LCSW.
But that doesn’t have to be you. Thanks to Moffa, we have the actually helpful words you can say to the people you love. Copy and paste these scripts right into your text thread.
What to say to your friend who…
Is going through a breakup
“This sucks and I’m here for you.”
“Do you want to vent or do you want my input?”
“Do you want to talk about the relationship or would you like a distraction?”
“What do you need from me right now?”
Lost their job
“I want you to know that you’re not alone.”
“This is a big deal and your feelings are completely valid.”
“Would you like company, distractions, or help with errands?”
“Why don’t I send over groceries/dinner this week?”
Lost a loved one
“I want you to know that I’m here for you. I know how hard this is.”
“You don't have to respond if you don't want to, but I love you and I'm thinking of you.”
“Are you going to be home tonight? I'd love to drop off some food. I’ll leave it at your door unless you want a visitor.”
Is struggling with a fertility issue
“I don't know how this feels, but I just want you to know I love you and that I'm here for you.”
“I've been through this too, and it’s really hard. Let me know if you want to talk about it.”
Is struggling with their mental health
“How long have you been feeling this way?”
“Do you have anyone to talk to about this?”
“Do you want me to help you find any mental health resources?”
“If you have a bad day, please call me.”
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Don’t worry about finding the “perfect” words, says Moffa. The important thing is to let your friend know you’re there and willing to help.
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute a medical opinion, medical advice, or diagnosis or treatment of any particular condition.
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